In March, 2000, encouraged by editor, Alex D., Deko-ze came up with a unique concept for the magazine: a monthly look at the sometimes glamorous, occasionally tragic, often bizarre and always eventful comings and goings of a travelling DJ. The first few articles proved very popular with TRIBE readers, especially those looking for a good laugh in between club and event listings. Four years later, Deko-ze — the scribe — continues to fill you in on what's happening from coast to coast, as well as let you in on a few adventurous tales full of fiends, mischief and mayhem! Read On!
"Dear Santa...I have been a very good boy this year. Not only was I cheerful when head-butted by an enthusiastic lesbian at "The Cock" in London, I also was patient with a lady on a flight to Edmonton, who after several glasses of wine, proposed a threesome with her and her 65 year old boyfriend."
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ISSUE #105 - NOV. 2003
"I say, 'BITCH...you need to go home...and don't come back out 'til you buy some
new shoes!'"
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ISSUE #104 - OCT. 2003
"...the flyer states that the night is for 'Cocksure Boys, Hookers and Punks'...After
consulting with our friend to make sure we would indeed fall into the 'Cocksure'
category, we headed down to this cutting edge night."
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ISSUE #103 - SEPT. 2003
"When it comes to nightclubs, Toronto has something for everyone — from jaded
queens to wanna-be debutantes."
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ISSUE #102 - AUG. 2003
"Most of us DJs like having a bevvie or two to wet the whistle before playing. This
DJ, however, did not wet her whistle, but bloody well drowned it. I was
somewhat amused watching her sway about violently and doing the head bob as she
fell asleep in front of the decks several times."
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ISSUE #101 - JULY 2003
"Post SARS trauma didn't stop hundreds of thousands from coming out to celebrate
PRIDE. Bars were packed, parties were rammed, and Priape nearly sold out
of Elbow Grease and poppers."
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ISSUE #100 - JUNE 2003
"I was booked to play a couple gigs at Taipei's biggest and best underground
club, 2nd Floor. I was pretty concerned that my trip was going to be postponed
with all of the craziness of SARS but...."
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ISSUE #99 - MAY 2003
"I was busy trying to pick someone up. We were in the middle of some heavy
grinding action, and suddenly I feel a tap on my shoulder. 'Uh, I'm sorry
to bug you right now, but you have to tell me the name of this track!'"
Read More!
ISSUE #98 - APRIL 2003
"One stranger stopped me to tell me how aliens are coming to take over the planet,
but we as a dance community should fight..."
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ISSUE #97 - MARCH 2003
"...I was playing New Years at Comfort Zone...The place was ram packed and the
dance floor was a war zone of clenched fists punching the air, seething energy
and sweat."
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ISSUE #96 - DEC. 2002
"Odd Things I Have Been Asked While Playing, #4: 'When are you going to
take your pants off?'"
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ISSUE #95 - NOV. 2002
"Underworld. They have been called the World's Greatest Electronic Band. No
shit!! Their show ..."
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ISSUE #94 - OCT. 2002
"There is a kind of je ne sais quoi about having a roaring chain saw in one
hand, sweat drenched through my plaid shirt and nestling into my thick chest
hair, and old wood between my legs."
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ISSUE #93 - SEPT. 2002
"More so than other scenes, ours is littered with a wonderous, varied and sometimes
odd assortment of people...Let's take a look at some of these fiends..."
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ISSUE #92 - AUG. 2002
"CRACK...Add the first three letters, multiply that by the next number and divide
that by the last number and you have six. A dude wearing a shirt that had
six buttons came up to me recently at a club when I was finished playing to tell
me that 'my set was better than crack'."
Read More !
ISSUE #91 - JULY 2002
"Does anyone remember Playground in Montreal? Ahhhhh, the memories. Something
about thoughts of being soaking wet and ..."
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ISSUE #90 - JUNE 2002
"Yarrrr! Captain Manzone, Skipper Strong, with fellow Sea-man Deko-ze,
playing sweet house music to get some hair on yer chest! Aiieee've not
seen this much merriment since we made Wench Celine Dion walk the plank!"
Read More!
ISSUE #89 - MAY 2002
"After some slurping and other ghastly sounds, Bill gets up and says,'What do
I need to do to get my picture on the next flyer?' 'Rim me', Bob replies...So
there I am now trying to discuss current events while the promoter is getting
'done'."
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ISSUE #88 - APRIL 2002
"...Fortunately Nepptuun did not notice as the strangely perturbed looking groundhog
sneaked towards me, carrying something in his paws. Suddenly, Nepptuun
saw a squirrel in the opposite direction and bolted. Sensing his opportunity,
the groundhog rushed up and handed me this tune by Akodama. He then motioned
me to bend down so he could whisper something in my ear: 'Here Deko-ze,
you'll need this to play tonight — it's sick and has a mind blowing remix by
Trendroid, a couple of whack dudes from New York! Check it! It'll
make the boys hard and the girls wet! And watch your damn dog. He
took a shit in my hole.'"
Read More!
ISSUE #87 - MARCH 2002
"Never trust a Regina elementary teacher who plays 'Le Freak' and 'The Humpty
Dance'!"
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ISSUE #86 - DEC. 2001
"A fresh cup of egg nog to Danny @ Nettwek who coined a new term that puts all
other sub genre titles to shame: Bareback House."
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ISSUE #85 - NOV. 2001
"The insanity began when the bouncer who picked me up at the airport got arrested
for dressing up as a cop!"
Coming Soon!
ISSUE #84 - OCT. 2001
"Remember when Sasha had long hair and looked like a valley girl?"
Coming Soon!
ISSUE #83 - SEPT. 2001
"Maybe one day we won't have to pay off the cops in order to express ourselves
through dance! To 'serve and protect', indeed."
Coming Soon!
ISSUE #82 - AUG. 2001
"Li'l Black and the fiends danced while Grannie threw down killer track after
killer track! (All grannies in Slictoria dj, you know!)"
Coming Soon!
ISSUE #81 - JULY 2001
"My most recent adventure took place in Stuttgart, Germany. I was invited
by Commander Tom to come play at a club called Toy. My flight over was
fine until the plane touched the ground — at which point I noticed a small waft
of smoke float by...Then I realized the whole cabin was filling up with it..."
Coming Soon!
ISSUE #80 - JUNE 2001
"On the way to Iceberg Media to do the 'Technopolis' radio show, I was thinking
that it was high time I do something different....The Fiend of the Month Award
goes to everyone who called in naked, including the two girls wildly giddy at
seeing each others' boobs, the dude who asked if jerking off counted, and Dr.
Trance, who claimed to be wearing a thong."
Coming Soon!
ISSUE #79 - MAY 2001
"Quote of the Month goes out to the guy who came up to me while I was playing
'Love In Traffic' by Satoshi Tomiie (a sinfully delicious progressive late night
chugger) and said, 'Yeah, this jungle is Okay, but when is Deko-ze coming on?"
Coming Soon!
ISSUE #78 - APRIL 2001
"Another Miami Winter Music Conference has come and gone, and once again both
my wallet and bank account are completely empty."
Coming Soon!
ISSUE #77 - MARCH 2001
"I played at 'Nuclear Freezoone' at Club 414 in London and at 'One Love' in Mansfield
and saw people goin' OFF! I also checked out Bedrock and Trade...Walk into
'Muscle Alley' at Trade and tell me you did not salivate or leave crying over
your own inferiority."
Coming Soon!
ISSUE #76 - DEC. 2000
"Uh, our flyers suck because you can't read any of the djs names on them."
Coming Soon!
ISSUE #75 - NOV. 2000
"...threatening to kill the DJs if they don't put on another track is not the
best approach."
Read
More!
ISSUE #74 - OCT. 2000
"I wanted to set the record straight about something. My DJ name is DEKO-ZE,
not Dekozi, Decko-ze, or my favourite, De-Hoze."
Read More!
ISSUE #73 - SEPT. 2000
"...the venue change seemed as smooth as a 60's pimp daddy workin' a gold-tipped
cane like a glowstick."
Coming Soon!
ISSUE #72 - AUG. 2000
Unfortunately, Deko-ze spent the month of August in a K-Hole and was unable
to complete his article. Deko-ze thanks you for your well-wishes and
gifts of free pornography upon his return to our beloved planet.
Coming Soon!
ISSUE #71 - JULY 2000
"...I had the pleasure of experience food poisoning above the clouds... As
if chunky halibut blow wasn't bad enough... that same airline lost my record
crate on my way home from Calgary a few days ago."
Coming Soon!
ISSUE #70 - JUNE 2000
"...we had to head back to Toronto as I had a set to play at Industry for 'Ascension'. Things
were going all right until we realized that we had missed a turn off. No
Prob. We turned around, found the turn off and were on our merry little
way...until one of the tires popped! Prob."
Coming Soon!
ISSUE #69 - MAY 2000
"Deko-ze, Come On Down...You're the next contestant on 'Let's Meet Another Sketch
Pad Promoter'! Prizes include...the promoter (saying): 'Yeah, I know
we said you'd be playing at 4 AM on the main stage, but we didn't actually have
a venue planned when we announced that this would be a twelve room party, so
there is actually only two rooms and you will be playing from 6AM to 6:15AM in
the hallway leading to the bathroom.'...'Ummm, Chuck...I think I'll just take
the Rice-A-Roni!"
Coming Soon!
ISSUE #68 - APRIL 2000
"...off we went to the (WMC) 'after-party'. We arrived at Denny's in 'class
and style'. Yes, DENNY's, purveyor of 'class' and 'stylish' breakfast food. House
label, Nervous Dog, had taken over the restaurant for a few hours so DJ Paulette,
resident of London's Ministry of Sound could feed the hungry crowd sweet house
beats."
Coming Soon!
ISSUE #67 - MARCH 2000
"And speaking of boots, Lady X in Las Vegas had quite the pair. I had the
opportunity to see this 'Lady' break dance at a party I played at called 'Heaven'. Ever
see a drag queen do a head spin?"
Coming Soon!
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